#323. ZiCo® Hat! Infomercials
#323 *
Oct. 18, 2026
- Zia (holding up a beige fedora): "Introducing the ZiCo® brand Hat!" "This new patent-pending miracle invention covers your head, any head, anywhere you need it!" "A head without a ZiCo® brand hat is barely a head at all!" Chloe peeks in, puzzled.
- Zia: "Precision-woven from a flawless cotton-polyester blend, the ZiCo® brand Hat keeps off rain, snow, hail, fog, splashing, and more!" "And its timeless look will make you the talk of the town!" Chloe stands behind her, highly confused. Chloe: "It's — a hat?"
- Zia (brightly): "It's the ZiCo® brand Hat! Accept no imitations!" Chloe (backing away): "Defective?" Zia: "ZiCo® only sells quality products!" Chloe: "Radioactive, then?" Zia: "Perfectly safe!" Chloe: "So — it'll kill us all." Zia: "You're joking!"
- Chloe flees in terror: "Aaaaaa!" Zia (to hat): "Wonder what her problem was?" Hat (speaking): "No idea."
Characters: Chloe, Zia
Day Two continues to be proudly sponsored by ZiCo® Industries Inc. Ltd., a limited-liability corporation.
— Inker